Critisicm: Our Dis-Ease

I am borrowing some things (including my title for this post) from a website I recently checked out, http://lcsmithphd.com/Criticism.html. 

I have been thinking and praying about how I handle my children and how I speak to them. I worry about how my actions will affect them in the long run.  I have thought long and hard and I keep coming to the same conclusion.  No one feels good when you criticise them incestantly and offer no positive praise in it's place or along with constructive criticism.  According to Lawrence C. Smith Criticism is the vehicle for imposing our beliefs on others thus perpetuating the Dilemma of Mankind.  There is so much truth to this statement.  Everything that we read in the paper, see on the news, reality shows,  and so many other places is all about criticism.  We think we have the right to criticize celebrities, politicians, entertainers.  We criticize our children's teachers, our bosses and even our family and friends.  No one is safe from our righteous judgement.  And it's all so negative and self-serving.  Think about it...why do we criticise?  I believe the reason is to make us feel better about our selves.

So if this is all true, then what are we doing to our children by constantly criticizing them instead of offering positive praise to teach them how to behave?  While I have been praying about this recently I came across a bible verse that spoke to me about how I  treat my children.  "And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord" (Eph. 6:4). This verse is better explained at this website  http://www.bible.ca/ef/expository-ephesians-6-4.htm.

So think twice next time you start to raise your voice at your children or voice your unwanted opinion about a person's choices.   Is that person open to receiving your constructive criticism? Is your reason for giving your opinion actually productive or self-serving? Will your children learn what you wanted them to learn or are they learning to be mean and spiteful?  A friend once told me that if I am getting emotional and raising my voice at my kids then I am losing control....then of course the kids are going to say things they shouldn't.  And the children losing control doesn't excuse me losing control.  So make a habit of staying calm and being clear about the consequences.  Then when everyone's calmer you can discuss what happened and what shouldn't have happened.